Whats in a Name?
( An African Woman’s Love Story & Journey to Motherhood )
I recall asking my parents why they gave me my name..My father says that I was late coming into the world, apparently there were still things I needed to do.I was 2 weeks overdue and my mother kept saying “ what are we waiting for ?” and my father translated that into his language Ndebele/Zulu….and thus “ U-Meleni” become my given name. I came out with my 2 fists up for revolution and my life has been the quest to answer that loaded beautiful question. My name has been a compass in my life. Names ;words have power. In my culture they always say” be careful what you name your child, they will either live UP or live down their names”.
I come from a long line of medicine women, spiritual women, warrior men, seers, dreamers and more importantly doers.Women who pray, who receive wisdom in dreams, women who write down their dreams and goals and do the work to manifest with help from the Most High. I am a Ndau/Zulu woman, a collage of bi-tribal experiences from the blood of my parents that flows sweetly in my veins.
I decided to use this age old wisdom of my youth to find myself a life partner and start a family.
So on January 1, 2008 I declared to the universe that this was my year, I had done all the work and in the words of Oprah ..I was “ living my best life”. I was open to the universe and I was ready to find my life partner. Five months later my good friend asked me to marry him after an innocent home cooked salmon dinner ( which he cooked) I thought he was crazy to ask since we had not gone through all the official protocols of dating…..I adored him but had certainly never thought about dating him much less marrying him, however I listened to my gut and I said yes. It was that simple, un-complicated by reason. This made sense to me like sun dancing on my skin.
I waited for balloons to fall out of the sky..for that all encompassing voice you hear on the TV shows..” you have just hit the jackpot” and indeed I had. But there was nothing but beautiful silence and a deep knowing that this was written.
In that early morning, on an ordinary Saturday I was engaged to my best-friend and together we dreamed of our life for some reason started talking about our son and I named him Jabulani.!
It means celebrate! Be happy in Zulu, He was already real in our hearts we imagined his smile, his laughter peeling pleasantly in our ears, his infectious nature.
We got married in South Africa, it was a beautiful and endless medley of culture , tastes and sounds. Cajun, west African & Zulu spices and music.
My name U-Meleni , the question “ What are we waiting for ?”; my
husband’s name Olumide the answer which means “ God has arrived “
When I found out I was having a baby and we knew Jabulani had arrived. I was never that girl, that woman who always knew I wanted to be a mother or familied. Being a child of divorce, I was a bit jaded and literally torn by continents of emotion. ( raised in Africa by my mother while my father was in America). But I had done all the healing from past pain and was now the best version of myself, which is why I married my friend and why then I was ready to be a mother. There is a well of love so strong & steadying when you truly love yourself. I was ready but I worried that world wasn’t ready for my son. I wanted it to be beautiful, to be like I imagined him to be in my mind.
I remember the first time I saw him leap and sommersault on the screen at the ultrasound..I was breathless.
Jabulani :Celebrate.Be Happy!
Jabulani came into the world the way we imagined with a smile and a inquisitive nature, nothing telling of the fight it was to bring him to us. I had to have an emergency C-section and when they ripped him from my body, it felt like a mac truck had an accident on me. Jabulani weighed 3 pounds one ounce, too small to wear preemie clothes, I remember weeping for joy and shock when I saw how little he was. I remember changing his nappy in the incubator with my fingers and there were tubes and monitors all around him.
But he looked at me with a knowing and a peace , and when I took him out to hold him for the first time he rested on my chest and nursed, and all the amazing nurses and doctors at Tufts Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit ( NICU)were surprised. I am forever thankful to all of them.
Jabulani! Be Happy!
After 2 weeks we brought him home and it has been a joy to watch him grow and bloom all these years. I am so amazed at Jabulani’s ability for compassion, love and understanding, am truly humbled by God’s grace. He will be 5 years old in a week, and I marvel at the joy he has brought us and our whole family and community. He truly lives UP to his name.
At school , he is the collaborator, the humorous one, the entertainer with an ever present smile ready to hug someone, share his toys, kiss strangers boo boos. He is all love, all music, everything and more that my husband and I dreamed on that rather normal Saturday , nine months before he was born.
He completes us, together we are the ultimate sentence.
U-MELENI. OLUMIDE. JABULANI!
What are waiting for ,God has arrived celebrate be happy!
