(missing my mother on her birthday coinciding with a tough booster shot reaction)

my mother Helen and I

they buried her

against her wishes

weighed down


am not used to feeling like concrete

body sprawled on my Queen size bed like a chalk outline

my sheets the color of rage

searing scorpio skin

the foreboding murmur of the heater in the corner by the window whirring like a hospital machine

Am I still here


Or is this the Afterlife?

They want me to come home

return to a corpse of a country

of a world

but i can’t…..